Would you like to be the “Best Mom Ever” or “World’s Best Mom?” As a mother, innately you want the best for your child or children. Mothers strive to be the best version of what they think of as a “good mom”. However, the ideals behind being a “good mom” are subjective.
Sometimes mothers will find themselves questioning if what they are doing is the right thing for their kids. Here are some suggestions on how to be the best mom that you can be.
Educate yourself
It doesn’t matter if you are expecting, in the throes of toddler tantrums, or working through your child’s teenage years.
It is always practical to research what is going on, developmentally, with your child. It will help you understand what to look out for if things don’t seem right. This can also help you relate to your child when challenges arise.
Related: Parenting Magazines You Should Read as a Parent
Be present
This may seem both obvious and unattainable at times. This doesn’t mean you have to enjoy every second of your 3-year-old’s meltdown because you didn’t use the right colored cup.
It means you try to mentally make sure you check in and enjoy those really GOOD moments. It also means really listening to your child when they are trying to have a meaningful conversation with you.
Self-care
Do you ever have time to yourself? To recharge your “mom batteries”? Though most of their time is accounted for (working and/or caring for children) mothers NEED time alone.
If at all possible, try to find some time in your week to do something you enjoy. You can’t be your best self if you are always running on empty.
Give Each Child Special Attention
For moms with multiple children, they need to make sure there is special, solo time with each one. This makes each child feel appreciated and loved as their own unique self, not just as part of the family.
Mom is able to slow down, focusing only on each particular child’s needs. It also helps to create deeper bonds with each child.
Set Healthy Boundaries
Moms aren’t meant to be their children’s friend. Mom’s number one job is being a parent. This doesn’t mean you don’t get to have a good time and can’t be silly with your kids.
It just means setting clear expectations and holding kids accountable when they misbehave.
Have Open Dialogue on Difficult Subjects
Topics like sex, death, illicit drugs and mental health (among others) are all tricky and sometimes uncomfortable conversations to have with your kids.
It’s best if you approach these subjects honestly. If you truly want your children to be able to come and talk to you about anything, keep an open and judgment-free dialogue with them.
Unplug at the Dinner Table
Have your family eat at the dinner table and make a rule about there being no screens while at the table. This ensures that everyone is paying attention to each other and not being distracted by a TV or cell phone.
Dinner is a great time to reconnect with the family and check in with each other every day.
Pro Tip: We recommend you download one or two recipes apps on your phone to plan your meal for the whole family if you are responsible for the family’s meal.
Two FREE great meal apps that will help you a great deal:
Use these apps on your iPhone or Android to get endless meal plans and ideas for the whole family.
Keep a Healthy Relationship with Your Partner
Children can cause real strain on the relationship between parents. Be sure you are maintaining the connection between yourselves that brought you to having children in the first place.
Kids can sense tension. Not to mention, it’s hard to perform at your best if you are constantly finding yourself frustrated with your partner.
The occasional date night and/or couples counseling can help. The most important thing is that you both keep an open line of communication.
Give Yourself Grace
Having high expectations for yourself is good, but no one is perfect and motherhood is especially difficult. You aren’t always going to get it right.
As long as you are trying your best, loving your kids, and learning from your mistakes, that’s what really matters.
Try to Focus on the Positive
It’s easy to point out the low points in your day, especially if you are overwhelmed with work and family. However, challenge yourself to recall the positive points. There are probably more there than you think. Focusing on the positive helps you alleviate some of the mental stress you are carrying.
Ask for Help
While it may be difficult for some of us to acknowledge that we need help, many of our friends and other family members are more than willing to help us.
You would be surprised what kind of feedback you can get by just asking. There is absolutely no shame in wanting help.
The people in your community (such as other parents or grandparents) are likely to relate to the difficulties of parenthood.
Limit Screen Time
Particularly for little kids, it is important to limit screen time as it can affect their ability to self-regulate their emotions and stimulates their brain even after the screen is off. Too much screen time can impact sleep, the ability to focus, and more.
Nourish the Family
Eating well can impact both physical and emotional wellness. With a healthy diet, everyone feels better to face the day. Try to serve more fruits and veggies, while limiting processed foods.
This is easier said than done when you have a child that’s a picky eater but with continued persistence, they are likely to develop a healthy diet as well.
Remember to use the meal plan apps to help you organize a healthy diet for your family.
Aim for Healthy Sleep
This is another subject that can be tricky if your children are really young. The end goal is to try to establish healthy sleep habits for the children (earlier bedtimes, wind down time, routines, etc.) and do your best to get the recommended amount of sleep for yourself.
This means finding a way to decompress at the end of the day, preferably without the use of a screen.
Be a Good Role Model for Your Kids
Parents are children’s first teachers. Your kids are always looking to you for guidance even if it is not explicit. This is why it is important to “practice what you preach.”
This pertains not only to things like eating well or limited screen time, but extends to things like emotional regulation and availability, organization, and social skills.
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